Wassup was robbed

Speaking of memes…Seanbaby and Wave Magazine lists the Top 10 Best Internet Fads. The Kiss Me guy, Cats, and Tourist Guy makes the list. But where is the Budweiser “wassssup” parodies? Philistines!

These breakdancing Decepticons seem to have come in too late to make the list.

Memes have an unusual staying power. I was at the streetcar, and two girls started singing the Hampsterdance; that is, if lyrics such as “dib-a-dib-a-dib-dib” can truly be sung and given its proper respect without a worthy dose of helium.

Giggles later, one of them reminisces, “Boy, I remember hearing that when I was 5!” Oh, woe is me to have been born and raised in the dark ages before the web!

Don’t interrupt, use word of mouse

Finished reading new-age marketing mogul Seth Godin‘s Unleashing the Ideavirus. The first trick to releasing an ideavirus is to call your concept a peculiar name, such as “ideavirus”. The second trick is to then make people read 104 pages of your book to find out what you’re talking about and realize that “ideavirus” is just your pet name for “word of mouth advertising, via the Internet”. Next, litter the pages with URLs of past books you’ve written and companies you are connected to. Step 4: PROFIT!

So Seth practices what he preaches, but what he preaches is not earth-shattering. Current advertising techniques, which he calls “Interruption Marketing”, basically involves pouring scads of money into commercials and ads in an attempt to harass people into buying something. Spammers and telemarketers take interruption marketing to its logical extremes by shotgunning ads to unwilling eyeballs and ears, with the absurd notion that any exposure is positive exposure. As customer resistance increases, marketers just turn up the heat – which is why you now see adverts hanging over urinals, bigger and more garish web banners, and corporate names stuck on sport stadiums. And we were this close to getting billboards on gravestones, I kid you not.

However, Godin argues that marketing through memes costs much less money and can be much more effective. By quietly distributing it to the trendsetters, key influencers or “sneezers”, your idea can spread to a large target audience (the “hive”). To keep the idea contagious, the idea must be easy to pass along (“smoothness”) and aimed at the right people (“vector”). The beauty is, everyone that is targeted by the ideavirus actually want to hear your message. Godin cites Hotmail’s little sig at the bottom of each Hotmail email and Amazon’s referral program as choice examples.

The Internet has launched a many-to-many proliferation of digital samizdat. Every day, people online are dissecting and discussing products and services. As David Weinberger passionately evoked on CSPAN (Jon Udell helpfully provides the pertinent part of the video here), when he was looking for a washer/dryer, he went to “every company’s website…Google”. In minutes, he discovered an ongoing discussion on the very model he was looking for. The commentary was merciless, unsanitized, and most importantly – human and trustworthy.

Several companies have tried their hand at creating their own memes or viral campaigns, such as Burger King’s cheeky Subservient Chicken website, or Volvo’s faux documentary “The Mystery of Dalaro”. A groundbreaking Internet scavenger hunt based on Kubrick and Spielberg’s A.I. spawned an entire fanbase called the Cloudmakers to solve it. (The storyline in the game is far more interesting than the one in the movie too, IMHO).

One company, BzzAgent LLC, believes they can make a business out of paying “buzzers” to become digitally-accelerated Mary Kays.

Marketers ignore the many-to-many social phenomenon at their peril, as the movie industry found out. If you make a crappy movie, everyone will know before you say “Gigli”. Deceiving your customers is even worse; those who think they can artificially create an ideavirus may be in for a nasty surprise. Ideaviruses cut both ways; all the spindoctoring in the world won’t wash. “Any attempts to escape the new transparency will ultimately prove futile,” David Kilpatrick writes. “Build a business that will not be injured by the disclosure of data.”

Can it work in a positive manner? It depends on the idea and its execution. Amusingly, half of the dotcoms Godin cites as sucessfully using the ideavirus had perished shortly after this book was published in 2001. Even Godin fumbles when he released “The Big Red Fez” in 2002. He promised Ideavirus readers he would release the book for free online to generate buzz, or he would write an explanation of why his ideavirus strategy failed. If you check that site today, there’s no ebook, and a link promising the said explanation only goes to his blog’s main page.

So, basically the book was on tactical marketing methods designed to make you part with more of your hard-earned money. But since advertising is here to stay, I’d rather have the less annoying kinds.

Doors open

Sunday was a perfect day for stomping around Toronto and peering into interesting buildings normally blocked from public eyes. And peering and appreciating Toronto’s architecture is what the Doors Open event is all about. It only runs for one weekend in May every year, and with over 150 buildings to choose from – everything from churches to City Hall – you basically have to pick your favourites, and hope for the best. We got to see three buildings:

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The CBC Broadcasting Centre. They have a neat children’s museum on the ground floor, with video clips and memorabilia from Mr. Dressup, The Friendly Giant and other excellent CBC children’s shows from the ’80’s. Upstairs on the 7th floor is the carpentry department. Up there they have sets for Coach’s Corner (with a cardboard cutout of Don Cherry!) and Athens 2004, plus other great stage props, such as the Royal Canadian Air Farce’s Chicken Cannon sign.

The clock on the right just cracks me up. It’s a Gorg clock from Fraggle Rock, designed by Tim McElecheran. The clockdial is inscribed with imaginary numerals, and since the Gorgs are Muppets with four fingers, McElecheran used an octal numbering system. My geeky heart flutters just thinking about it.

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The BMW Toronto dealership. Silverlotus remarked that this was a sleazy way to get people to spend an afternoon ogling cars, and she’s probably right. Still, the building has some architectural merit: all the walls are made of glass, including the elevator, and they use a moat around the dealership to cool the building. Perched on a hill overlooking the Gardiner Expressway, it has a commanding view of the downtown core. It’s also the largest facility of its kind in Canada.

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Union Station. If there was ever an award for Most Neglected Historical Landmark, Union might get it. Once the hub of activity during the heydays of locomotives, Union is now a pitstop for subway and GO Train commuters, and it’s in need for $150 million in repairs. The washrooms have the same fixtures they enjoyed when they were brand new in the 1930s.

What hasn’t aged a bit, however, is the Great Hall. It’s flanked by two giant windows on either side to let light in, and the bricks are made of a special Minnesota limestone that further reflects this light. The giant windows are actually translucent glass hallways that employees can walk through, which you can see in the picture to the right. Despite all that ingenuity, there was one gaff – the carving of the name of the city of Sault Ste. Marie is mispelled.