Can you see the irony in this entry

“In politics, if you don’t toot your own horn, it usually stays untooted.”

– Former US President Bill Clinton in his memoirs My Life, Page 556. About his accomplishments, obstentationally.

“Stop listening to celebrities. They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.”

– Comedian Dave Chapelle, to a rowdy Sacremento audience

Studies show this blog is low in carbs and Y2K compliant

The official slogan of Quantified is “Fat-free and dolphin safe”, which is a lighthearted poke at sensational claims written on the packaging of the things we buy.

You see, we endure true tests of critical thinking everyday – junk science. “Science” makes everything sound authentic. Marketers know this, and that’s why you have packages screaming “33% better!” (better than what?) and “100% natural!” (as opposed to unnatural?).

Marketers know that tarting up products with pseudo-scientific claims automatically make them legitimate to most folks – even if the scientific studies behind it are a sham. “The hucksters know the superficial cues better than most people, and have long ago adopted all of the code-words and mannerisms that children are conditioned to perceive as ‘scientific’,” Joshua Allen wrote recently. “What we have is a wolf in sheep’s clothing; superstition masquerading as science. And adults are basically defenseless, because we have been taught only to fear things that look like wolves.”

For an eye-opener, a writer from Popular Science has chronicled “1O6 Science Claims and a Truckful of Baloney” he had encountered in a single day. Make the decision yourself.

Innovation and how to love your liver

It looks like one of our partner companies has devised a new innovation initiative. Which is fine, – who doesn’t like initiatives? – but I just can’t get over the name: Prometheus. According to the news release, he’s the “God of Innovation” and his name translates as “he who looks forward” and is known for “intelligence, service and excellence.”

Methinks someone didn’t crack open their Greek mythology texts in high school!

Prometheus was actually a conman. He was also a Titan, not a Greek god. It was his conning of Zeus that caused the Greek gods to take fire away from man in the first place.

I would also be wary of being the initiation lead behind this program. You see, for his transgressions, Prometheus was chained to a rock and had his liver eaten out by an eagle every day. His liver would regrow every night to begin the torture anew. Fortunately, Hercules rescued him only after 30 years of being a living foie gras luncheon platter.

Basically, Prometheus was not the type to win Employee of the Month awards. He didn’t even invent fire – he stole it from the forge of Hephaestus, the god of fire. Now there’s a better candidate for “God of Innovation”. Personally, I think Prometheus is a better spokesperson for P2P networks. 😉

When it comes to strategy and innovation, it is Athena that should be the patron goddess of IT. (The Vatican decided on St. Isidore for the Internet and all things computers.)

Moral of the Story: When naming stuff, make sure you actually know what your chosen name means.

Wassup was robbed

Speaking of memes…Seanbaby and Wave Magazine lists the Top 10 Best Internet Fads. The Kiss Me guy, Cats, and Tourist Guy makes the list. But where is the Budweiser “wassssup” parodies? Philistines!

These breakdancing Decepticons seem to have come in too late to make the list.

Memes have an unusual staying power. I was at the streetcar, and two girls started singing the Hampsterdance; that is, if lyrics such as “dib-a-dib-a-dib-dib” can truly be sung and given its proper respect without a worthy dose of helium.

Giggles later, one of them reminisces, “Boy, I remember hearing that when I was 5!” Oh, woe is me to have been born and raised in the dark ages before the web!

Duck and cover

Wow, more really vague warnings of terrorist attacks. How can these alerts be constructive to the average person, I have no idea. Did you know that when the blackout of ’03 occured, all the news immediately thought it was a terrorist attack? (It was, perhaps more troubling, really due to the fact the aging US energy infrastructure hasn’t been properly funded or upgraded in decades.) I fear that when and if a real threat arises, the people will start ignoring the Politician Who Cried Wolf.

But hey, maybe if we keep the populous scared and insecure enough, they’ll consume and keep consuming. Keep buying those gas masks and Cipro pills; live each day as if it’s your last. Keep X-raying shoes and frisking grannies at airports. Why scrimp and save for that bungalow-sized SUV? Buy it now in easy monthly payments, while you still can! Besides, you can drive it over lesser cars with it when the time comes to escape the dirty nuke.

When did this culture of fear become to be considered as normal?

Air farce

Saw this in the Toronto 24 Hours newspaper: Apparently there’s an unofficial bit of a Canadian election tradition for reporters to nickname the campaign jets used to shuttle the political parties around. Liberal Party candidate and current Prime Minister Paul Martin’s Boeing has been christened the “Minoritair”, winning out among other popular monikers, such as “Millionair”.

There is some word that reporters have assigned NDP Party leader Jack Layton’s plane the “Hi Jack”, but everyone is afraid to say the word out loud.

Everyone should be given a tickertape parade

Just finished off Gene Kranz’s Failure is Not An Option. This is the story of 1960 America’s push into space and beyond in the eyes of a NASA flight controller. He covers his tenure at NASA, from the botched “four-inch flight” of the first Mercury-Redstone rocket to Apollo 17, the last mission to the moon in 1972.

The world of the flight controller was not a glamourous one. Long hours, lengthy absences away from sleep or family, checklists and constant vigilance were the norm.

He lists all his missions unequivocally and chronologically, treating the good and band with an even hand. In other words, like a flight control mission log. You get the impression that space travel was both for the brave and the insane; astronauts were crammed into metal capsules with controls a mere three feet from their faces, strapped to thousands of gallons of rocket fuel, and governed by spotty radio communications with finicky, primitive computers at ground control. What they lacked in technology, however, they made up for in tenacity and perseverance.

This inside look shows a multitude of serious problems that were encountered and solved. The Apollo 11 lunar landing was almost a NoGo because the lunar module’s computer was overloading. Fortunately, the flight controllers had dealt with that very scenario on their very last day of simulation training. It wasn’t a matter of luck – it because of the extremely talented and meticulous folks at Mission Control.

When Apollo 1 caught fire on the launchpad, incinerating the innards of the capsule and its three astronauts in a matter of seconds, Kranz told his staff, “Let us get good and angry – and then let us make no more mistakes.” He attributes the ultimate success of Apollo to the perished astronauts Grissom, White and Chaffee, for setting their priorities straight:

“From this day forward, Flight Control will be known by two words: ‘Tough and Competent’. Tough means we are forever accountable for what we do or what we fail to do. We will never again compromise our responsibilities. Every time we walk into Mission Control we will know what we stand for.

“Competent means we will never take anything for granted. We will never be found short in our knowledge and in our skills. Mission Control will be perfect.”

Of course, the astronauts themselves also displayed calm and focus under pressure. The Apollo 15 astronauts worked so hard running science experiments on the moon’s surface that their fingertips turned black from hemmorhaging as their fingernails scraped against the inside of their gloves.

Most of you will remember Gene Kranz as Ed Harris’s character in Apollo 13. Kranz has an amusing anecedote to that: “In the movies, the controllers always stand up and cheer each mission event, but if a controller ever did that before the mission was over and the crew was on the carrier, that would be the last time he sat at a console.”

Welcome to teh intarweb

Have you ever been to some event, and then saw it covered by the news? Didn’t you think that the newsreporter and yourself must have gone to different places? That was my thought, coupled with horror, this blow by blow account of Fox News’s human interest story on blah blah blogging:

“And here Matt Weiler has to patiently explain the difference between a weblog and a chat room. No kidding, they asked both of us about that. It’s like getting a squirrel confused with a mailbox because they’re both on the sidewalk.”

It includes not one, not two, but three hard-hitting interviews with Random Morons On The Street.

I don’t even want to know how the newsmedia will react to eccentric Flash animations such as Hey Hey 16k – Animation by Rob Manuel; Song by MJ Hibbett. I remember my first exposure to computer gaming was Ultima IV on the Apple IIe. The skeletons looked kinda like Sinead O’Connor. These guys are right, what *does* 16k get you today? An Outlook macro virus, maybe.

You too can be a crazy cat person with hundreds of cats with The Infinite Cat Project. Basically, someone takes an adorable photo of their cat, post it for someone to take a picture of their kitty looking at the image on the monitor, ad infinitum. Being me, I’ve noticed an unusual number of Sony Trinitrons in this crowd.

In the D drive: Codename: Gordon, a 2D sidescroller inspired by the upcoming Half-Life 2, available for free on Steam. A silly time-waster, and a good way for Valve to test and demonstrate their Steam content preloading and delivery systems.

Makes us more than just well-fed cows

Astrobiology Magazine interviews Brother Guy Consolmagno. He has a M.Sc. from MIT and a Ph.D. from University of Arizona. He also just so happens an astronomer of the Vatican Observatory. He’s also proof positive that science and theology can coexist together.

…If God made the universe, and he made it good, and he loved the universe so much that, as the Christians believe, he sent his only son, it’s up to us to honor and respect and get to know the universe. I think it was Francis Bacon who said that God sets up the universe as a marvelous puzzle for us to get to know him by getting to know how he did things. By seeing how God created, we get a little sense of God’s personality. And that means, among other things not going in with any preconceived notions. We can’t impose our idea of how God did things. It’s up to us to see how the universe actually does work.

Yes! Fundamentalists, I hope you’re writing this down. Being devout doesn’t mean turning off your neocortex, and being scientific doesn’t mean being an athiest.

The whole scientific enterprise really does coincide well with Christian theology. The whole idea that the universe is worth studying is a Christian idea. The whole mechanism for studying the physical universe comes straight out of the whole logic of the scholastic age. Who was the first geologist? Albert the Great, who was a monk. Who was the first Chemist? Roger Bacon, who was a monk. Who was the first guy to come up with spectroscopy? Angelo Secchi, who was a priest. Who was the guy who invented genetics? Gregor Mendel, who was a monk. Who was the guy who came up with the Big Bang theory? Georges Lema

We have better beer too

“Contrary to the conventional wisdom it appears that Canadians, not Americans are more willing to innovate and take risks, at least in public policy.” So says David Morris in the Alternet article O Canada; Oy Vey United States.

It’s always flattering to get compliments from Americans, but I think there’s a bit of “grass is greener on the other side” effect happening here. It’s true we enjoy certain freedoms that Americans have been denied, especially recently.

Some people think Europe has a one-up on the US these days too. In Robert Kagan’s controversial book, “Of Paradise And Power: American and Europe in the New World Order”, he has a few choice words [via NewsScan]:

“Europe is turning away from power, or to put it a little differently, it is moving beyond power into a self-contained world of laws and rules and transnational negotiation and cooperation. It is entering a post-historical paradise of peace and relative prosperity, the realization of Immanuel Kant’s ‘perpetual peace.’

Meanwhile, the United States remains mired in history, exercising power in an anarchic Hobbesian world where international laws and rules are unreliable, and where true security and the defense and promotion of a liberal order still depend on the possession and use of military might.”

But it’s not all fun and games; our healthcare may be mostly free, but we also have longer lineups. We still have to rely on company benefits to cover essentials such as eyeglasses and dental checkups.

Then again, we Canadians actually get real sugar in our soft drinks and desserts, instead of corn syrup.

I was born in Canada. I once asked why my parents immigrated here to raise their family. The answer was simple: the United States at the time had a military draft to send soldiers to Vietnam. They simply didn’t feel that a country that believed history was made with the barrel of a gun was a suitable place to raise a child.