Goodbye hello.jpg

The Internet gross-out phenom that is the Goatse.cx domain is now for sale. If you’re curious as to what Goatse actually is, for all that is sacred and holy, don’t look at the actual site, please read the Wikipedia article instead.

To be honest, this came as a surprise. Goatse has been a source of humour and horror for net.citizens for at least 7 years. Turns out it’s a domain run by a sysadmin guy in LA. To be honest, I always thought Goatse had no real owner. Its legend is so great I thought it was hosted and powered by the Internet gods as some sort of public service.

The real O.G.

This O.G. is so original, he uses lassos and fireballs rather than Uzis. I am of course talking about the Opera Ghost, aka the _Phantom of the Opera_.

As musical plays go, _Phantom_ has pretty rudimentary plotting and a fairly formulaic musical score, and its story may seem incomplete to those who haven’t read the novel by Leroux. However, its special effects, magical illusions and pyrotechnics remain top notch. The Phantom was a fixture in mainstream Toronto theatre in the 1990s, and it was the first professional production I ever saw. Last Wednesday afternoon, I came back to watch it a second time, and Silverlotus saw it for the first time.

It’s been ten years, but I could tell the differences. There are the obvious variations between watching a matinee vs. the night show I remember; for example, some parts were hammed up for laughs (Hannibal struggling to climb up the elephant) to the delight of the schoolkids.

Of interest is also how the role of the brilliant but disfigured Phantom was played. In the 1990s, Colm Wilkinson played the Opera Ghost with a smooth, melodic malevolence while today’s O.G., John Cudia, interpreted the man as one barely sane and seething with rage, with his motions jerky and lines shouted rather than sung.

By the way, does anyone ever root for the Phantom over Raoul? While ugly and homicidal, the Phantom is a brilliant musician, illusionist and inventor. Raoul is just a rich pretty boy who, in the climatic scene, heroically sings, “I would make her lie to you, to save me.” I’m just saying.

History bites

On Sunday, Silverlotus and I caught a rerun of “The First Emperor: The Man Who Made China”, the Discovery documentary that chronicled the adventures of Qin Shi Huang, the man who united the feudal provinces of the Middle Kingdom into the Qin Empire.

Later in life, Qin became obsessed with attaining immortality and took to ingesting mercury in the belief it would make him live forever. Ironically it actually crippled his mind and body, eventually killing him.

As they played the scene of him eating the poisonous substance, I took this time to say something of historical significance:

“That must have tasted like ass.”

The newfie nurse

We saw _Tempting Providence_ run by the Factory Theatre. Chronicling the feats of Myra Bennett, a nurse in the small and isolated Daniel’s Harbour in Newfoundland in the 1920s, it also featured 101 ways to use a table set as props and scenery. They also had fresh oysters on the half-shell by Oyster Boy and strawberry champagne in the foyer.

Seriously, it was a good play. And if you’re wondering why a nurse is the subject of a play, consider this: in the winter of 1926, her brother-in-law had his foot cut off by a lumber saw. She stitched it back together, then herself and her husband pushed him on a sled some 60 miles to the nearest hospital. She had did such a good job with needle and thread, his foot was saved. She was also three months pregnant at the time.